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quietly, in the mourning

by z.c.white

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1.
devils 03:16
my mother told me when I was very young, she said these men I sleep with don't care about you son. They're only thinking of themselves, and I do believe I understand that now. In my mind, in my eyes, where the darkest corners reach you'll find, you were the ghost, keeping me awake, now you're gone and my heart you did take all these lions that keep me up at night, as my father stares down from the stars in the sky, when I cry I hear him say, "My son there's a woman, to keep this sickness at bay." In my mind, in my eyes, where the darkest corners reach you'll find, you were the ghost, keeping me awake, now you're gone and my heart you did take I've been searching far and wide, but never have I ever found a heart as black as mind, I just need a bright little light, to keep away these devils that hunt me in the night. In my mind, in my eyes, where the darkest corners reach you'll find, you were the ghost, keeping me awake, now you're gone and my heart you did take
2.
haust 03:14
summer you will be wisest, bake me in the lightest red glow under eyelids autumn I love you always, I just want to count leaves under emptying trees winter make me a new window, cover it in slow snow buried light in white hope spring rain pound on the same pane, autumn is a day dream winter isn't leaving well if my love was ever your fault, I'm sure that I would have explained I was only worried for my own fall, you only ever spoke of spring great deep blue of the ocean, swallow all your omens stay home with the moon again Dark green beard on the mountain, leave the lover shrouded right there where we found her white oak wind kissed you yellow you'll be green in spring though, I'll be missing my fall once more I loved you always, I just want to count leaves under emptying trees well if my love was ever your fault, I'm sure that I would have explained I was only worried for my own fall, you only ever spoke of spring
3.
our bones were a holly bush spread beneath the bedsheets hiding in the quiet above the veins of the city streets when we came undone, with the sirens howling blood our bodies drifted off, dreaming run now young ones in the woods where we were once, is where we belong not strung out all alone, among the millions no wonder we feel lost, every corner has a name I know what you want, but wanting is to blame you can keep your yellow nights, and your broken grey sky and I wlll keep my eyes on what’s good, green, and alive because I'd like my world to be, better after me rivers we can drink, and stars for the children please covered lovers under white smog swiftly swinging at alarm clocks call in coughing take the day off living is dying after all every single one of my friends, is missing someone and I am just like them, among the millions the languages we speak are more than we mean as every seed wants we'll grow a tree
4.
I've loved thieves, and I've drank with warriors but no one leaves, quite like a woman does yeah I played king, in dreams I was victorious but I'm a beggar you see, in the honesty of morning sun trust me I learned you are not to blame, just another thing that time has taught me, if I ever start singing your name it's quietly, in the mourning the water's fine, wasn't it when you were young? you were right, you saw me just how I was but where were you when I forgot my name? oh, I remember now. On an island across the sea. trust me I learned you are not to blame, just another thing that time has taught me, if I ever start singing your name it's quietly, in the mourning we took two tabs, a blanket and a camera lens we sat there by the river's edge on a beautiful day caterpillar on my hand you said, hey man, there's a stinger on that.
5.
White wicked ones are gunnin for us all They got horses made of steel an they're burning black gold Times dripping from a dimensional bowl onto a universal countertop growing black holes Light's refracting through a Stained window casting iridescent scripture on crosses of gold Wise women warn us of a grinding halt, singing man has learned us not to love, Revolt Low bridge yellow lights breaking up the road shelter to the creek and addict below Old elk is leaning on the sycamore Brother to the pines and the sorrowful willow Noble bones beneath the cellar floor Within time what is unnatural? Loaded gun and the old man on the porch, can you still see what youre aiming for? When consciousness caresses me, The chaos in my wandering that fills my waking thoughts and speech are lightning striking some distant sea, of dreams Politician with pen in hand Grim reaper john hancock signing lives for land Talk physician with your prescription pads, send them wildin in the streets the rich will hatch a plan Raw visage of the lonesome mountain man, are you a portrait of the future or a love song from the past? Law maker flying slow low robots over sand Do you program them to kill or allow to understand? College lit literature post-cannabis, are they dreadlocked potato chip vegetarians? Knowledge less competence Fail the creators we make dollars not sense When happiness consumes me, I pour a glass of poison ocean sleep, My demons are my company, we set sail on some distant sea, of dreams.
6.
momma's got a feeling she wanna stay, wanna stay but we can't stay long daddy's got to drinking set in his ways, set in his ways yeah we're gonna get gone brother's got to singing, he's doing okay, doing okay he said it still feels off sissy's got to rambling she's doing eight, doing eight for the sake of the song honey leave the light on I'm almost home, I be going straight it's only whiskey you know, what time if anytime I do you wrong, she said forever is four letters long momma's got to praying she's laughing now, laughing now but by herself daddy's got to thinking, he cries some nights, cries some nights by the liquor shelf brother's got to dying voices in the dark, voices in the dark yeah no one can tell sissy's got to loving a fine young man, fine young man wears a gun on his belt where'd you get that hitch in your giddy up? have you been pulling out stitches my love? what time if anytime I do you wrong, she said forever ain't long enough graceful hands of the mightier, who shall say they are wise enough when the mountains were once naught but dust, and the oceans wrenched from a clump of mud?
7.
readhead 03:38
we played love, upon a tired stage I gave in, and we came on a blank white page the morning come, the sun was a tidal wave that I rode from a shore that you were sure you replaced readhead, are you red yet? legs spread on some wretched poet’s deathbed the sweetest sentences swept from a mind you weren’t meant to be lying with your mother said, stop fucking writers babe I admit, my pen was sharp that day even if it was indeed your pain it was my play, her wave, our stage redhead, are you read yet legs spread on some wretched poet’s deathbed sweetest sentences that came from a night you never meant to be lying in sometimes I think what a mind I have that let’s me bleed in a way to be read I apologize if I seemed insensitive because in the end, you never did, we just weren’t meant for this with a sweet heart, comes sweet art with a sweet heart, comes sweet art
8.
sweetfreaks 04:14
Did you deal in silence to protect you always, or your thoughts that loud? Well everyone has moments, but you got stolen omens in your memories as well. I was peeling sunburn deep into the winter, are you loving again? I was only minding the picture of you smiling I been doing some myself shadowspeaking by your door, sweetfreak just aint sane no more well I loved you when you were yours dreamweave on an autumn night, bled red on the winter white I loved you when you were sure Insanity is sweetness, with a vanity in pieces, mirrors breaking your heart Youre a beauty basket case yes, straight jacket with laces. look so good falling apart Taking all them pink pills, Lithium and sink swill  do they say it’s chemical Well I was only drinking, to keep myself from feeling, guess they’re right after all shadowspeaking by your door, sweetfreak just aint sane no more well I loved you when you were yours dreamweave on an autumn night, bled red on the winter white I loved you when you were sure i was a spiteful child, buried all my medicine you were a spineless bride a cynic fit to file in I think its a beauty to live I thank god now and then that I didn’t give up if I find myself caving again I’ll remember what you said when we fell in love you got a soul of gold boy, use it. You got a heart of steel baby bruise it on love well I think it’s a beauty who lived I think god now and then that you still exist if you find yourself caving again please remember what I said when you walked away love is just like water, fits the form of any other lover.
9.
If I am the moon, you are the deepest blue in the night you storm and sing me rain we play violin waves of mountains white spray a symphony of fate we once sang some other time in another life far from this place it was an October dream I had while you were awake writing to me it snowed in Reykjavik Dressed in moonlight, by a dim hidden lake we shared our skin, and you left in mourning do you worry? of all the ones you loved and left that maybe we’re one in the same well I mean, what you wrote in your letter about love of fate on my birthday skin is a mighty gift, what a thing to give we knew it then, on the couch at your parents Time missed is not a weight to lift it is a shell to shed and begin again farther away Honey, the only thing that I know for sure is change and often suddenly What I mean is life is a such an awful thing to waste but so is this dream I don’t mean to say I have the answer babe and if I look away, it’s only to explain That on this day, I do love my fate, for while I write it rains
10.
it’s not what you are, it’s what you notice that makes you who you are meant to be known as look away if you will, there will just be something else that makes it evident, you must be yourself I woke up this morning, what a beautiful sight all this beauty pouring from my eyes To think that I could’ve died before I ever saw your light i’m fine thanks for asking, just a little lonely I promise I will listen, and if you feel you need a friend to ever say, they’d come running just to shake the feeling, that no one loves you I gave up on mourning, I am awake and alive When I find my meaning, I will live a quiet life maybe fate will give us time to sit and listen together for a while

about

recorded at Studio East in Charlotte, NC

credits

released September 30, 2014

All lyrics/guitar written by z.c.white
album artwork by Jack Wells Dickson
produced by Mark Stallings,
Tim Eastman.

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z.c.white Boone, North Carolina

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