quietly, in the mourning

by z.c.white

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03:16
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03:14
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03:38
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04:14
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about

recorded at Studio East in Charlotte, NC

credits

released September 30, 2014

All lyrics/guitar written by z.c.white
album artwork by Jack Wells Dickson
produced by Mark Stallings,
Tim Eastman.

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all rights reserved

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z.c.white Boone, North Carolina

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Track Name: devils
my mother told me when I was very young,
she said these men I sleep with don't care about you son.
They're only thinking of themselves, and I do believe I understand that now.

In my mind, in my eyes, where the darkest corners reach you'll find,
you were the ghost, keeping me awake, now you're gone and my heart you did take

all these lions that keep me up at night, as my father stares down from the stars in the sky, when I cry I hear him say, "My son there's a woman, to keep this sickness at bay."

In my mind, in my eyes, where the darkest corners reach you'll find,
you were the ghost, keeping me awake, now you're gone and my heart you did take

I've been searching far and wide, but never have I ever found a heart as black as mind, I just need a bright little light, to keep away these devils that hunt me in the night.

In my mind, in my eyes, where the darkest corners reach you'll find,
you were the ghost, keeping me awake, now you're gone and my heart you did take
Track Name: haust
summer you will be wisest, bake me in the lightest red glow under eyelids
autumn I love you always, I just want to count leaves under emptying trees
winter make me a new window, cover it in slow snow buried light in white hope
spring rain pound on the same pane, autumn is a day dream winter isn't leaving

well if my love was ever your fault, I'm sure that I would have explained
I was only worried for my own fall, you only ever spoke of spring

great deep blue of the ocean, swallow all your omens
stay home with the moon again
Dark green beard on the mountain, leave the lover shrouded right there where we found her
white oak wind kissed you yellow you'll be green in spring though, I'll be missing my fall
once more I loved you always, I just want to count leaves under emptying trees

well if my love was ever your fault, I'm sure that I would have explained
I was only worried for my own fall, you only ever spoke of spring
Track Name: among the millions
our bones were a holly bush spread beneath the bedsheets
hiding in the quiet above the veins of the city streets
when we came undone, with the sirens howling blood
our bodies drifted off, dreaming run now young ones

in the woods where we were once, is where we belong
not strung out all alone, among the millions
no wonder we feel lost, every corner has a name
I know what you want, but wanting is to blame

you can keep your yellow nights, and your broken grey sky
and I wlll keep my eyes on what’s good, green, and alive
because I'd like my world to be, better after me
rivers we can drink, and stars for the children please

covered lovers under white smog
swiftly swinging at alarm clocks
call in coughing take the day off
living is dying after all

every single one of my friends, is missing someone
and I am just like them, among the millions
the languages we speak are more than we mean
as every seed wants we'll grow a tree
Track Name: win dreaming, victorious
I've loved thieves, and I've drank with warriors
but no one leaves, quite like a woman does
yeah I played king, in dreams I was victorious
but I'm a beggar you see, in the honesty of morning sun

trust me I learned you are not to blame,
just another thing that time has taught me,
if I ever start singing your name
it's quietly, in the mourning

the water's fine, wasn't it when you were young?
you were right, you saw me just how I was
but where were you when I forgot my name?
oh, I remember now. On an island across the sea.

trust me I learned you are not to blame,
just another thing that time has taught me,
if I ever start singing your name
it's quietly, in the mourning

we took two tabs, a blanket and a camera lens
we sat there by the river's edge on a beautiful day
caterpillar on my hand you said,
hey man, there's a stinger on that.
Track Name: poor it then poet
White wicked ones
are gunnin for us all
They got horses made of steel an they're burning black gold
Times dripping from a dimensional bowl onto a universal countertop growing black holes
Light's refracting through a
Stained window casting iridescent scripture on crosses of gold
Wise women warn us of a grinding halt, singing man has learned us not to love, Revolt

Low bridge
yellow lights breaking up the road
shelter to the creek and addict below
Old elk is leaning on the sycamore
Brother to the pines and the sorrowful willow
Noble bones beneath the cellar floor
Within time what is unnatural?
Loaded gun and the old man on the porch,
can you still see what youre aiming for?

When consciousness caresses me,
The chaos in my wandering
that fills my waking thoughts and speech
are lightning striking some distant sea,
of dreams

Politician with pen
in hand
Grim reaper john hancock signing lives for land
Talk physician with your prescription pads,
send them wildin in the streets the rich will hatch a plan
Raw visage of the lonesome mountain man,
are you a portrait of the future or a love song from the past?
Law maker flying slow low robots over sand
Do you program them to kill or allow to understand?

College lit literature post-cannabis,
are they dreadlocked potato chip vegetarians?
Knowledge less competence
Fail the creators we make dollars not sense


When happiness consumes me,
I pour a glass of poison ocean sleep,
My demons are my company,
we set sail on some distant sea,
of dreams.
Track Name: follow me family
momma's got a feeling she wanna stay, wanna stay but we can't stay long
daddy's got to drinking set in his ways, set in his ways yeah we're gonna get gone
brother's got to singing, he's doing okay, doing okay he said it still feels off
sissy's got to rambling she's doing eight, doing eight for the sake of the song

honey leave the light on I'm almost home, I be going straight it's only whiskey you know, what time if anytime I do you wrong, she said forever is four letters long

momma's got to praying she's laughing now, laughing now but by herself
daddy's got to thinking, he cries some nights, cries some nights by the liquor shelf
brother's got to dying voices in the dark, voices in the dark yeah no one can tell
sissy's got to loving a fine young man, fine young man wears a gun on his belt

where'd you get that hitch in your giddy up?
have you been pulling out stitches my love?
what time if anytime I do you wrong,
she said forever ain't long enough

graceful hands of the mightier, who shall say they are wise enough
when the mountains were once naught but dust, and the oceans wrenched from a clump of mud?
Track Name: readhead
we played love, upon a tired stage
I gave in, and we came on a blank white page
the morning come, the sun was a tidal wave
that I rode from a shore that you were sure you replaced

readhead, are you red yet?
legs spread on some wretched poet’s deathbed
the sweetest sentences swept from a mind
you weren’t meant to be lying with

your mother said, stop fucking writers babe
I admit, my pen was sharp that day
even if it was indeed your pain
it was my play, her wave, our stage

redhead, are you read yet
legs spread on some wretched poet’s deathbed
sweetest sentences that came from a night
you never meant to be lying in

sometimes I think what a mind I have
that let’s me bleed in a way to be read
I apologize if I seemed insensitive
because in the end, you never did,
we just weren’t meant for this

with a sweet heart, comes sweet art
with a sweet heart, comes sweet art
Track Name: sweetfreaks
Did you deal in silence to protect you always, or your thoughts that loud?
Well everyone has moments, but you got stolen omens in your memories as well.
I was peeling sunburn deep into the winter, are you loving again?
I was only minding the picture of you smiling
I been doing some myself

shadowspeaking by your door, sweetfreak just aint sane no more
well I loved you when you were yours
dreamweave on an autumn night, bled red on the winter white
I loved you when you were sure

Insanity is sweetness, with a vanity in pieces, mirrors breaking your heart
Youre a beauty basket case yes, straight jacket with laces. look so good falling apart

Taking all them pink pills,
Lithium and sink swill 
do they say it’s chemical

Well I was only drinking, to keep myself from feeling, guess they’re right after all

shadowspeaking by your door, sweetfreak just aint sane no more
well I loved you when you were yours
dreamweave on an autumn night, bled red on the winter white
I loved you when you were sure


i was a spiteful child, buried all my medicine
you were a spineless bride a cynic fit to file in
I think its a beauty to live I thank god now and then that I didn’t give up
if I find myself caving again I’ll remember what you said when we fell in love
you got a soul of gold boy, use it. You got a heart of steel baby bruise it on love
well I think it’s a beauty who lived I think god now and then that you still exist
if you find yourself caving again please remember what I said when you walked away
love is just like water, fits the form of any other lover.
Track Name: re: amor fati (while I write it rains)
If I am the moon,
you are the deepest blue
in the night you storm
and sing me rain
we play violin waves
of mountains white spray
a symphony of fate we once sang
some other time in another life
far from this place

it was an October dream I had while you were awake
writing to me it snowed in Reykjavik
Dressed in moonlight, by a dim hidden lake
we shared our skin, and you left in mourning

do you worry?
of all the ones you loved and left that maybe
we’re one in the same
well I mean,
what you wrote in your letter
about love of fate on my birthday

skin is a mighty gift, what a thing to give
we knew it then, on the couch at your parents
Time missed is not a weight to lift
it is a shell to shed and begin again
farther away

Honey, the only thing that I know for sure is change and often suddenly
What I mean is life is a such an awful thing to waste but so is this dream

I don’t mean to say I have the answer babe
and if I look away, it’s only to explain
That on this day, I do love my fate,
for while I write it rains
Track Name: up on awakening
it’s not what you are, it’s what you notice
that makes you who you are meant to be known as
look away if you will, there will just be something else
that makes it evident, you must be yourself

I woke up this morning, what a beautiful sight
all this beauty pouring from my eyes
To think that I could’ve died
before I ever saw your light

i’m fine thanks for asking, just a little lonely
I promise I will listen, and if you feel you need
a friend to ever say, they’d come running
just to shake the feeling, that no one loves you

I gave up on mourning, I am awake and alive
When I find my meaning, I will live a quiet life
maybe fate will give us time
to sit and listen together for a while